Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (Teachings abridged)
Principle 1 – Begin with praise and honest appreciation
- Begin by highlighting all of the great things they’ve done well before suggesting improvements.
Principle 2 – Call attention to peoples’ mistakes indirectly
- You can tell somebody they are wrong by a look, intonation or gesture.
- They will never want to agree with you if you tell them they’re wrong.
- Never begin conversing with ‘I am going to prove to you …’
- If you must correct, do so by saying ‘Well, now. look, I thought otherwise but I may be wrong. I frequently am. And if I’m wrong I want to be put right. Let’s examine the facts.
Principle 3 – Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person
Principle 4 – Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
- e.g. What do you think of this ….
- e.g. What if you did it like this …
Principle 5 – Let the other person save face
- Even if we’re right and the other person is wrong we’re attacking their ego by causing them to lose face. It must be avoided.
Principle 6 – Praise even the slightest improvement and praise every improvement
“Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”
Principle 7 – Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
- The average person can be led readily if you have his/her respect and if you show that you respect the person for some kind of ability.
- If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait is already one of his/her outstanding characteristics.
Principle 8 – Use encouragement! Make the fault seem easy to correct
- Be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know you have faith in their ability to do it, that they have an undeveloped flair for it.
- Make people believe they have a flair for something by likening what they have difficulties with to their strengths.
Principle 9 – Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
- Create the impression that by accepting this important task, they will be doing you a favour.
‘I don’t blame you in the least for feeling as you do. If I were you I’d undoubtably feel as you do!’ - If you need to reject a proposal, first show appreciation for the offer and then follow-up with an alternative suggestion. Don’t give them time to feel bad about your refusal.
- Give people titles of authority which suggest they are the ‘Boss’ of a certain task.
When attempting to change the attitudes and behaviours of others:
- Be sincere. Don’t promise anything that you can’t deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and focus on the benefits of others.
- Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
- Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.
- Consider the benefits the other person will receive by doing what you suggest.
- Match those benefits to what the other person wants.
- Put your request in a form which conveys to them the idea that they will personally benefit.